Healing from Internalized Whiteness

an online training for white allies committed to racial justice

Do you struggle with how to respond to racism as a white ally -
even though you're committed to racial justice?

Does it leave you feeling overwhelmed and frustrated?

It doesn't have to be like that.

It can feel healing and humanizing - where everyone is called higher.

Let me explain...

Is This You?

Since the election of Trump, many white people's understanding of the US has been shaken to its core.

Instead of being grounded in the myths of a post-racial world, it's become more grounded in the reality of how this country actually operates.

And that's on a foundation of white supremacy and systemic oppression - as people of color and marginalized people have been experiencing and naming for centuries.

That's been painfully terrifying for many white folks who believe racism is wrong.

If that's you, then please read on.

As Trump's threats and attacks on communities of color escalate, you are feeling the need to do something to stop them.

But you may also feel frozen in place by the feelings of shock, confusion, denial, and/or guilt at the same time. 

Have you felt:

  • Confused about how to make sure you don't accidentally say something that's racist - when you can't trust yourself to know what's racist
  • Conflicted about speaking up against racism - but not wanting to speak over people of color
  • Ashamed when you still subconsciously stereotype people of color - even though you don't want to
  • Guilty about having white privilege - but not knowing if you're willing to give it up or how to even do that
  • Overwhelmed with trying to figure out what you should do to fight racism - but without asking people of color for the answers while also trying to follow their lead
  • Frustrated with yourself for being scared to talk to white people about racism - while scared of ruining your relationships with them
  • Angry at your white family and friends who just don't get it - even though you're still learning too

Given all that, it can feel almost impossible to address racism, without emotionally flailing and without making things worse.

It can feel like the more you learn about white supremacy, the less you can trust yourself.

In fact, it may feel like as a white person, you can't do anything right around race - and never will.

On top of that, you're supposed to follow the leadership of people of color - but you're not supposed to ask people of color to teach you what to do.

And there's no consensus amongst people of color about what specifically needs to be done either or how to do it - so you don't know who you're supposed to listen to either.

Lost and confused about what to do, you may do nothing - while understanding that white silence is white violence.

Aka your head spins, your heart hurts, and...white supremacy wins.

But it doesn't have to be that way - there is a way out.

Just Imagine...

If you could could address white supremacy from a grounded place - where you were deeply connected to yourself and the other person.

Where you could:

  • Identify the pain that's behind your resistance and struggle to take action for racial justice
  • Care for your pain while holding space for others to do the same
  • Stop being scared of making a mistake and see them as opportunities for compassionate learning
  • Get humanizing alternatives to silencing yourself or coddling other people who are being harmful
  • Engage in dialogue with other people without letting fear or attachment drive you
  • Help other white people transform their ignorance and defensiveness into greater consciousness and motivation to act in solidarity with people of color
  • Begin inviting others into a culture of care and consent with how you show up together

Best of all, you’ll be able to do this with a deep understanding and compassion for their white fragility and white guilt - while calling them higher with fierce tenderness.

Because this healing work calls white people to be gentle and patient with themselves, which goes against everything white supremacy taught you to do.

And that’s how you get to show up for others - when you have been healing yourself from internalized whiteness!

Healing from internalized oppression is the primary way I’ve been able to show up in such compassionate ways that effectively call white people higher -  especially as a person of color.

Because I can see your struggle in me and me in your struggle.

But I’ve been on this healing and spiritual path for over a decade.

So I want to teach you in 10 weeks what I learned in 10 years.

That way, you can do it faster, less painfully, and with more compassion!

Here's How I Can Help You

I’ve taken everything I’ve learned from healing from internalized oppression on my own personal journey and from working with white allies.

And I've channeled it into a comprehensive, step-by-step healing processes at the individual and relationship level in this 10-week online training.

You not only get the theory, but you also get the actual action steps of how you can do the same in your own life - every day.

And I will help you practice doing them - throughout the entire online training.

THIS ISN’T SO MUCH A TRAINING -
AS IT IS A GUIDED JOURNEY

Yes, you’ll learn the frameworks and healing and co-creation practices to unhook from whiteness.

But more importantly, I'll be having you do it - in real time and repeatedly over 10 weeks.

So you shift from just an intellectual knowing into an embodied understanding - gained from actually doing the practices repeatedly.

The end result: You'll have what you need to continue doing the internal work necessary to make external changes possible. 

Because this journey of personal healing and collective liberation is a lifelong one.

Here's What You Will Learn

This 10-week online training gives you the framework with concrete healing and co-creation practices necessary for you to stop being an unconscious pawn of white supremacy.

While you'll always be racially white, you don't have to be culturally white and unconsciously perpetuate racism.

You can learn how to re-become human - so you can be in authentic solidarity with other white people and people of color for our collective liberation.

Week 1 - 3

Growing up in a society built on white supremacy and systemic racism, it's impossible for you to not have internalized whiteness.

But since whiteness is so normalized, you grew up unconscious of how unconscious you were of that.

More importantly, you also didn't realize what internalizing whiteness was doing to you - even though it was emotionally and spiritually harming you.

To begin taking steps to free yourself from it, I will guide you through a self-discovery process where you better understand what was done to you when you were made white.

You will:

  • Get a framework of what it means to be human in a dehumanizing world
  • Learn a pathway to re-becoming human together so we may all get free
  • Map out how white supremacy is impacting your life in dehumanizing ways
  • Unpack the impact of believing in the lies of racism and learning the truth about it
  • Understand why and how whiteness was created and the role you inherited from it
  • Get another way of being in the world that's humanizing - and necessary for our collective liberation

Week 4 - 6

Whiteness teaches that you to be deathly afraid of acknowledging your internalized whiteness and remain ignorant of the racism that exists in this world.

As someone who acknowledges your own whiteness, this may leave you feeling both angry at yourself for still harboring racist biases, painfully bewildered at how to not be racist, and scared to take action.

To care for these feelings that are keeping you from taking action, you will:

  • Notice when your internalized whiteness is manifesting - even if you're initially unconscious to it
  • Understand how actions driven by internalized whiteness often dehumanize you and others - even if you're just trying to protect yourself
  • Use healing practices to loosen the grip of internalized whiteness on you - even if you feel overwhelmed
  • Work with your anger and frustration around racism - and put it into taking self-compassionate action instead
  • Let yourself to be human - even if that means you sometimes make mistakes

Week 7 - 10

Whiteness can have such a strong hold on white folks, because it says you can either be white and with us - or you can not be white and we'll attack you for it.

The pain of losing this sense of belonging and connection to the white folks you love hurts. And it can keep you from being influential in places where you have the most potential.

To restore your broken relationships and inspire them with your anti-racism journey, you will:

  • Practice how to address everyday racism without silencing yourself or coddling the other person - even if they don't realize what they did was racist
  • Practice staying grounded in your body during difficult conversations - so it takes less of an emotional toll on you
  • Practice co-creating a different future together that cares for everyone's needs
  • Understand how to help people transform their ignorance and defensiveness into greater consciousness - so they will want to take action again racism too
  • Learn how to share your story of healing from internalized whiteness - to invite them into authentic dialogue

Bonuses

In addition to the 10 weeks of pre-recorded training videos, here are some bonuses designed to support your learning experience and your ongoing healing journey.

What Other Participants Have Said...

"

This program provides white anti-racists with crucial missing tools for the most challenging aspect of our work - navigating our own emotional reactions when confronted with the realities of white supremacy.

These tools help us to work through our knee-jerk tendency to reject ourselves or other white people when we encounter how racism operates through us.

With these tools, we can take on one of our most crucial responsibilities - to engage in productive dialogue with those who knowingly or unknowingly defend white supremacy.

This program has helped me to become a more effective change agent by becoming more accepting of what is, within me and around me - so that I can be present to it, honor it, and transform it with courageous compassion.

"

Lenore N.

"

Before I thought the answer to addressing white supremacy was in "good" white people coercing "bad" white people into change. Through this program, I realized that perspective can be not only hurtful but also inaccurate and ineffective.  

Things can get better when "good" white people become willing to connect to the pain of internalized white supremacy and are able to consciously choose to not act in racist ways.

Before I wasn't open to that part of myself. But now, I can actually accompany other white people in addressing their racism, because I'm learning how to address my own.

"

Michael B.

About the Trainer - Sandra Kim

Millions of people have become more socially conscious and taken action to address everyday oppression due to Sandra Kim’s work as the Founder of Everyday Feminism and Re-Becoming Human and creator of healing justice trainings.

Sandra draws on over a decade of her own Buddhism-based healing and spiritual journey as a person with multiple marginalized identities, as an organizational leader, and as a messy human being living in a dehumanizing society.

She provides the very transformative insights and practices that allows her to address oppression within herself and around her from an emotionally spacious and spiritually grounded place.

Sandra also does this particular healing work with white allies so that other people of color don't feel like they have too - in order for white allies to learn and grow. She is willing to offer this level of emotional labor for white folks, because it does not hurt her - thanks to her healing and spiritual practices and supportive community.

However such emotional labor is often painful for many people of color. So she also wants to make it clear to white allies that they  shouldn't expect it from other people of color just because she is consenting to it. 

Through her own personal life and work, she has witnessed time and time again the power of inner work to lead into external transformation.

That is why, she shares her insights and practices to support you in becoming the person you dream of being in this world.

Where we can grow a world where we are all deeply cared for - because we are all deeply caring. 

What Other Participants Have Said...

"I felt the wonder of this training and the discomfort of confronting my own wounds and internalized oppressor/oppression on a deep level. It showed me that I can help white men to re-become human and find our wholeness. If we don’t, we will never wake up enough to peacefully change the narratives and shift privilege and power. This awareness takes me even deeper into my mission to bridge the gap for white men between personal growth and collective liberation."

Joe B.

"My journey in this training gifted me the opportunity to share and process in safe space. I emerged with a newfound confidence to talk about racial justice within white communities from a place of non-attachment and dedicated service. It was also an exceptional experience to be held in witness of shame and guilt as a white person while still being held compassionately accountable by Sandra. This has profoundly shifted my worldview and fueled my sense of gratitude. "

Maxi L.

Frequently Asked Questions

This online training is primarily for white-identified people who want to incorporate a trauma-informed, healing-engaged, spiritually-grounded, and communally-held approach to their anti-racism work.

If you want a training that:

  • Doesn't let you off the hook or coddle you
  • Goes deep enough into your internalized white supremacy in order to directly tackle it
  • Help you take care of the pain, fear, and anger that's stopping you from taking appropriate action
  • Show you how to talk with other white folks who are less conscious in ways that are effective and humanizing

Then this is for you.

If you are a mixed race person with European/white ancestry, you are welcomed to join if you want to focus on healing from the ways you may have internalized whiteness but from a different social location within the racial hierarchy in our society.

While the framework and practices are delivered in pre-recorded videos, there will be live sessions for participants to ask questions and get coaching. If you wish to attend them or listen to their recording, it's important that you have the spaciousness to hear other white people share their pain and fear around acknowledging white supremacy without it causing a lot of pain to you.

It can understandably be hard for many people of color, including mixed race people, to not be angered or frustrated by white people learning about racism just now when it's been a part of their daily life and community for generations.  

If you do not want to, you are free to just watch the video recordings of the live sessions and not participate in the live sessions.

If you are a person of color and want to take this online course to work on your own internalization of white supremacy and oppression, you are also welcomed to join.

People of color have taken this online course in the past and have shared how transformative it was for them.

Just be aware that this is not designed for you - so you may not resonate with some of the framing of whiteness since you're coming from a different social location.

However you can benefit from understanding the perspective of people conditioned to be and act white and you will most certainly benefit from the other modules on healing ourselves and our relationships.

This online training starts on Tuesday, October 29, 2019 and consists of 4 components:

1) Weekly Lessons

These lessons will be released over 10 weeks on every Tuesday, starting October 29th and ending December 31st.

You will be notified of the new lesson via email and be able to access it via an online training portal on this website.

Each lesson will consist of pre-recorded videos and worksheets sharing frameworks and leading you through practices, reflection questions, and exercises.

It is self-paced so you can do the lessons at your own convenience.

2) Live Sessions with Sandra

You can attend two live 1-hour sessions per month via Zoom where you will be able to ask Sandra questions and get coaching. 

The 1-hour live sessions will be held on the:

  • Second Tuesday of the month at 5 pm ET / 2 pm PT / 10 pm BT / 7 am AET
  • Fourth Thursday of the month at 1 pm ET / 10 am PT / 6 pm BT / 3 am AET

The first session will be on Tuesday, November 12th. Since the fourth Thursday is Thanksgiving Day in the US, it will be moved to Thursday, November 21st.

When you get the first lesson, you will also get reminders for the live sessions and the Zoom link. 

If you cannot make them, they will also be recorded and made available as videos. So you can watch them at your own convenience. 

3) Live Group Calls

There will be small groups calls for participants to connect and grow together.

They will be organized once the training gets started based on interest from the participants.

4) Healing Programs 

After Lesson 7, participants will get access to four healing programs that will support them on their continued journey after this training ends.

This training provides the framework and practices necessary to get started on your healing journey and the healing programs help you integrate them into your everyday life.

Sandra has a financial model where her paid work, like this online training, subsidizes her work in communities of color. This way, she's able to work with them without needing to be paid.

As part of this financial model, she asks you to pay what's appropriate for you, given your class background and wealth privilege.

  • Sponsorship Fee of $497 for people with annual income of over $80,000 USD or sponsored by their workplace
  • Regular Fee of $297 for individuals with annual income over $30,000 and under $80,000 USD
  • Subsidized Fee of $197 for individuals with annual income under $30,000 USD

If you live outside of the US and don't find the income guidelines helpful, please choose the fee that's most appropriate to your financial situation.

There are also multiple ways to lower your registration fee, including:

  • Scholarship: If $197 is not reasonable for your financial situation, you can pay on a sliding scale. Apply here.
  • Group Discount: Register with a group of at least 3 people and get a discount off the regular registration fee of $297. Request a group discount here.
    • For 3-5 people: 15% off at $252 per person
    • For 6-8 people: 20% off at $237 per person
    • For 9+ people: 25% off at $222 per person
  • Payment Plan: Pay the regular fee in three monthly installments of $99. Register here.

No one will be turned away for lack of funds. Just send a message if you need more financial support. 

Also there is a 30-day money-back guarantee if you do not find it appropriate for you. So there's no financial risk to you!

Yes, there is a 30-day money-back guarantee. 

If you request a refund within 30 days from the day you first get access to the online training, then you'll get a full refund.

Given the importance of doing this work in a community, you are highly encouraged to bring this online training to any groups you're a part of and to go through the online training together.  

If you have a group of people interested, please request a group discount. That way each person can register at a lower fee.

  • For 3-5 people: 15% off at $252 per person
  • For 6-8 people: 20% off at $237 per person
  • For 9-11 people: 25% off at $222 per person

Please also note there are also scholarships available for people with limited financial means.

Given the financial accessibility of this online training, please do not have just one person register and then share the online training with a group of people.

We invite each person to contribute at the level that feels appropriate to their income level and class privilege.

This paid work Sandra is offering is what allows her to do work within communities of color without needing to get paid. 

Thank you for following this honor system and ensuring that Sandra is paid for her emotional labor with white allies as a person of color!

The denial of feelings is one of the primary mechanisms used by white supremacy to make sure white people do not question its existence. Emotional repression in the face of racist violence is what allows for white supremacy to continue unchecked in white people's consciousness.

If white people were actually in touch with their feelings, then they would be called into action by their compassion when witnessing violence towards people of color - instead of justifying it with the lies of racism.  

But the unnamed and uncared for trauma of being made white results in white folks being terrified of getting in touch with their own feelings around racism. 

Consequently, they can’t do anything about something they won’t even acknowledge as being true. 

That’s why, healing the trauma from internalizing whiteness is needed for white people who want to be anti-racist.

This concern is understandable, given how white people’s feelings about racism play out often times. Too often, emotional outbursts like "white tears" and "white fragility" are often used by white people to derail conversations around racism. It keeps them in a position of being "good" and deserving of comfort from others. 

It is also often painful for people of color to witness white people becoming more conscious of white supremacy. It often reminds them of the vast disconnection between their lives that are often defined by racism and those of white people who get to remain ignorant of its violence, which allows it to continue unchecked. 

Due to these common reasons, it’s often advised that white folks don’t show their emotional reactions around racism in multiracial spaces. And that makes sense - in those contexts.

However, white folks who actually want to do something about racism still need to have a space where their emotions around racism can be held. 

It just means that it needs to be in a space where everyone has consented to look directly and deeply at their internalized whiteness and has the practices and support to care for it with compassionate accountability.

When white people are first waking up to the existence of white supremacy, they often want to plunge into action and do whatever they can. It can feel more important to do something - anything - rather than nothing. (Mini-lesson: That’s a norm from white supremacy and patriarchy!)

At the same time, they may also feel overwhelmed with their feelings - including confusion about what to do. Waiting to figure out what to do can cause more feelings that freeze them, like guilt, anxiety, and/or anger. 

Not helpful. 

While it is understandable to want to take action to stop the violence we're becoming increasingly aware of, it’s also important to remember that white folks just waking up to racism still do not have a deep understanding of its nature and existence around them or within them.

So they may unintentionally perpetuate racism - while trying to dismantle it. And then get more upset when it's pointed out, especially by people of color.

So it’s important that white folks are able to process the feelings coming up for them as they are becoming conscious of white supremacy around them - and take responsibility for the white supremacy within them...

Before they join people of color and work with them in solidarity. Otherwise, they will merely unintentionally reinforce white supremacy in their very attempt to dismantle it.

Yes, you will, because you’ll learn how to talk to yourself in a humanizing way - about your own internalized racism.

And it’s important that we take a humanizing approach to dismantling oppression because only then are we living our values - and not merely replicating the dehumanizing tactics of oppression.

Plus, it’s more likely to be effective because you get to come from a grounded place and meet them where they're at - from a non-judgmental and still unapologetic anti-racist perspective. 

By sharing your own stories of how you became aware of your unconscious internalized whiteness with compassionate accountability, you’ll be able to model that for other white people and invite them into noticing their own unconscious internalized whiteness without dehumanizing them.

Additionally, you’ll get communication practices to help you co-create the conversation so it’s consensual and the other person feels seen and valued as another human being - even if you disagree with them strongly.

Due to white supremacy, many white people feel entitled to having a person of color explain to them what racism is (and will often respond with white-splaining).

So it's understandable that some people (both white and people of color) feel uncomfortable with having a person of color lead a healing training for white allies.

So to be clear, Sandra first decided to offer these trainings so that other people of color wouldn't feel like that had to when engaging with white allies wanting to do better.

Sandra is also consenting to do this work and is able to do it in such a way where it is not painful or harmful to her. 

This is in part because Sandra is not working with random white people who wish to argue about racism with her. She is working with white allies who wish to deepen their capacity to do racial justice work - are willing to put time and money into it and listen to her guidance.

Sandra also has the emotional capacity to offer this training because of her deep spiritual practice and supportive spiritual community. This allows her to be energetically spacious enough to engage in emotional labor with white allies in a way that does not harm her. 

Sandra also has a different personal history of trauma with white people than Black and indigenous people of color in the US. Her family came from Korea to the US during the 1970's and she is the first generation born in the US.

So she does not have the degree of accumulated intergenerational trauma with white supremacy as Black descendents of slaves and Indigenous people do. 

All these conditions make it more able for Sandra to invite white allies into this healing work - from a place of spiritual groundedness and sense of shared humanity. 

This training will be primarily accessible to people are deaf and hard-of-hearing, because the training videos and live sessions with Sandra will have transcriptions and the healing programs and worksheets are all written.

However the live small group calls will not be recorded or transcribed, because they are more private discussions amongst the participants. 

If you are deaf or hard-of-hearing and would like to attend the live small group calls and need assistance to make it accessible to you, please let us know at [email protected]. We will work with you to address your access needs! 

Registration Fees

We ask that you give what you can in order for this to be financially accessible for all - and financially sustainable for Sandra to offer this training.

SPONSORSHIP FEE

$497

If you earn more than $80,000 USD per year or are sponsored by work

REGISTER HERE

REGULAR FEE

$297

If you earn between
$30,000 - $80,000 USD per year

REGISTER NOW!

SUBSIDIZED FEE

$197

If you earn less
than $30,000 USD per year

REGISTER HERE

Scholarships are available if you cannot afford the subsidized fee of $197. Apply here.

Group discounts are available if 3 or more people want to do the online training together. Request one here.

Payment Plan allows you to split up the regular fee of $297 into 3 monthly installments of $99. Register here.

No one will be turned away for lack of funds. Just send a message if you need more financial support.

Not Sure If This Is For You?

Don't worry! You can do the training for 30 days - risk free.

If you don't feel it's a match, then you can ask for your money back - no questions asked. 

Secure your spot now >>
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Wait - Let's check in before you leave...

Is the training too expensive for you? Good news! There's scholarships you can apply for.

Do you not have enough time to do the training? You deserve to get healing support for racial justice work. Will you make the time for it?

Do you not like online trainings? That's real - why don't you bring together a group that meets in-person to take the training together? You can get a group discount too!

Still not sure? There's a 30-day money-back guarantee so there's no financial risk to you!

And if healing for racial justice isn't something you're ready to do now, that's ok too.

We'll be here when you're ready.

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